It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
