i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
