What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
