YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
