Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
