Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
