the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He felt like a one man threesome
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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