He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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