so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I didn't notice because vodka
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
