I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
