What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and she was petting her beer can
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize