I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Even my vagina gasped.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
