i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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