And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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