Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
