my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
