Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize