jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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