You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize