For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
