I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
