I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
