if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
