If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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