Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
