the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
