very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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