she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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