there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize