and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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