I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
