the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
