careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
