Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
