yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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