the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She bit a glass in half.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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