You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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