That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
