hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
