VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize