i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm gonna fight the coyote
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
