I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
