me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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