My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This gyro tastes like lonliness
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
