can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
