tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Rumble strips road head = magical
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
