Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
