I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
