1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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