girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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