Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
