I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
