I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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