I look better un-naked...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
