she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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