every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
